consequences

ok, so someone please tell me why people who choose to get messed up on drugs and alcohol think it's ok to assault people?  bad choices=consequences.  see you in the jailbird weekly!

Last Day

Tomorrow is bittersweet for me.  Tomorrow is the last day Emma will be a kindergartener.  Tomorrow is the last day Jacob will be a first-grader.  They are growing, learning, exploring this world.  As happy as I am to watch them blossom, I miss the baby days.  I wish I could just slow down time and enjoy it.  Enjoy EVERY MINUTE OF IT.  Not worry about housework, or work or anything.  Just watch them and savor each silly, outrageous, leave me flabbergasted moment.  I turned my head for a moment, and they've grown. 

It's a reminder from God to slow down.  Slow down and enjoy these little works of art that we've created.  You can't go back, but you can enjoy the MOMENT. 

I know I'll cry tomorrow, but that's ok with me. 

I love them more than words could ever tell you.

xoxo

mom

My Top 5

I stumbled upon Anna over at My Life and Kids one afternoon and laughed at the Finding the Funny posts until I nearly peed myself.  I even contributed some of my own funny posts (mostly about Sam's poop and How my husband nearly let me die of vertigo).  Today I offer to you my favorite 5 posts from this weeks "Finding the Funny".....so without further adeiu, here they are!

1.  You show your ass, I'll show mineI
     (because I'd do this to my kids)
2.  Exploding Pants and my Bagel Belly
     (It really does look like a bagel!)
3.  My neighbors might be cannibals
    (I swore my neighbor had bodies in his basement, and Polish prostitutes in his attic)
4.  Suggestions for men
    (because they need all the suggestions they can get!)
5.  Mrs. Ventura when nature calls
    (because I can just visualize him doing it)

Please visit Anna and Kelly over at Finding the Funny every Wednesday.  Share your own bad parenting moments, oddities and hellacious neighbor stories.  To see the total list of this weeks Finding the Funny, click here!


Thank you Anna and Kelly for keeping it real!

xoxo

Sue

How to wash a chicken.

Ok, so how I got to wash my chicken isn't very funny.  The actual washing the chicken part is though. 
Our dogs (Molly and Thor), have decided to become chicken stalkers.  Molly, you see, is a rescue dog.  She was found in a trailer park in Ludowici, GA.  I picked her up from the current owner in the parking lot of a Clyde's Market in some little town I can't recall the name of now.   Need I say more.  I am sure she has chased more than a few chickens and eaten them as well in her day.  She also ate one of her babies.  She's a killer, what can I say?  And Thor, well, Thor is Molly's baby, so I guess she's just trying to carry on the family tradition. 

Thor is only 11 weeks old.  He's been jumping at the chickens and they'll peck him in the eye and well, then he'll leave them alone.  Well last weekend the man and I were building the duck house and the dogs were barking.  I realized they had a chicken trapped under the deck.  Lulu is quite the survivor though.  Had it just been the pup, she wouldn't probably just pecked him in the eye and left.  She had Molly to contend with too.  She was outnumbered.  The Man got the puppy out and I rescued the chicken. 

Lulu was pretty beat up.  They tore her neck and wing and ripped out ALOT of her a tailfeather's.  I figured she would die.  Well, the next morning, still looking beat up, she was still alive.  I sent my husband for the antibiotic ointment after Googling "how to care for a mauled chicken". You seriously, can find anything on the internet.  So, now I had to wash her.  To get the dog saliva off and prevent infection.  Okay.  One bucket with warm soapy water...check. One wash basin....check. Towel to dry....check.  Now you can't wash a chicken like a dog.  They have feather's so I kind of poured water over her and tried to clean up the wounds.  She kept falling forward in the basin.  I held her tight too, because she will flap the crap out of you with her wings.  But I kept on, dunking and rinsing, determined to help her stay alive.   I probably will never, ever eat chicken with skin again...lol.  Then I busted out the tube of antibiotic ointment and smathered it all over her.  So, now she's a wet, pathetic, beat up chicken covered in ointment.  She probably won't win any 4-H contest, but hey!  She's alive!  The other thing I didn't know is that when chickens wounds heal they turn green.  It's not gangrene, it's just how they heal.  So, today she is looking delightful because she is covered in ointment and turning green. 

So she's living in the upstairs condo of the chicken house so her sister's don't kill her.  Did you know chickens are cannibals?  They are.  They kill the injured, the sick, the weak. 

I am sorry to report that Thor and Molly have continued on their killing spree though.  They lured Shirley, Laverne's sister, under the same deck and did away with her.  The Man found her.  Needless to say the chickens are all in the henhouse for good.  No more free ranging girls.  Sorry.

I hope this post has been helpful to any other's who have killer dogs and chickens.  Maybe my instructions will end up on the Google Search. 

xoxo

sue

Damn flies

We have a fly problem here in Georgia.  They are almost as bad as the gnats here.  I even hung one of those smelly bags that is supposed to lure the flies to it (it's filled with some disgusting blob of what I assume is rotting meat and you add water to it to really bring out the stench) on our deck.  Let me go back and tell you that I first hung it in my laundry room, before I realized the stench that it let's off.  We'll just say the door was open for a long time (letting in yet more flies!) and I used ALOT of Lysol.  Now, back to the original idea for the post.  These flies.

I hate a fly.  I really do.  They sit on poop.  We have two dogs, so they sit on alot of poop around here.  They buzz around you.  They sit on your sandwich (after they sit on poop).  They spit on their food.  They serve no purpose.  Except to gross me out and make me curse.  So I walk around all day with a fly-swatter saying "Damn flies!" 

This morning I realized I should not be so verbal about my hatred for the flies as Sam (who is 4) was walking around the dining room table saying "Damn flies!".  Score one for me. 


I still hate a fly though. 

xoxo

sue

First swim

Yesterday I caught Daisy and Donald {yes, we did re name them!} and loaded them up in their traveling bucket for a quick swim in the pond. Let me just say, they are REALLY hard to catch!

They took to it like, well, ducks in the water!

Daisy is on the left, Donald is on the right.

They dipped their heads in, but mainly stayed near the water's edge.

Once, they both swam super fast to get under the trees.

I assumed they were done when they came up on the shoreline.

I kept the dogs at bay with a broom (haha) and escorted them back to their pen.

Hopefully, I will have their new home (closer to the pond) ready by next week.

They are so sweet and they grew so quick!

happy friday!

sue

Floss.

Madi just walked by me in the kitchen.  She was trailing something behind her.  Something long.
 

The trail led into her bedroom and ended with her.

Hmmmmm.  Smells minty fresh.

Show me.  Now.

NO.

Now Madison.

Guess I'll be going to the store for more dental floss.

xoxo

sue