Thursday, January 2, 2014

is it really 2014?

Ok, so 2013 is over.  It went out with a big bright ball crashing hoorah, while my co workers and I stood in room 1 of the ED devoid of hats or noisemakers, knee deep in patients with the flu.  And so we welcomed in 2014.  I hugged my friends Kari and Linda, and off we went, praying for the night to JUST BE OVER.  .

I made some resolutions.  Easy one's I think.  Or well maybe practical ones'.

Take a family trip.
Save 10%  of our paychecks and put it into an touching!
Find a church.
Improve my sewing and crochet skills.
Live Dr. Markhum's advice on parenting.
Plant and maintain a vegetable garden.

Not too bad.  I know it's more than one, but it's more like my goal list for 2014.  2013 wasn't so bad.  We had good moments (Lucas :)) and not so good moments (Frazier's stroke, the bathroom disaster, and an $11,000 bill).  But we survived and we are still here. Intact. A family with it's problems and it's better days.  I hope 2014 brings forgiveness, acceptance, gratitude, mended fences, and simplicity. 

blessings all!


Thursday, April 4, 2013

Facebook got me kicked out of church!!!

Well, it finally happened.  Well, two things finally happened.  First, I got an email from the head of our church nursery letting me know that they had found other volunteers so I could take a break.  Polite way of firing me, lol.  Second, my pastor blocked me on facebook and publicly admonished me because I posted the word Goddamn.  I take no offense to that because it is a public forum and if you don't like what people write, then don't read it and feel free to block them.  Lol, damn stellar week I'm having. 


Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Four kids and a nurse practitioner

Last Friday was going pretty well.  Was, that is the key word.  I got in an out of THE WALMART with two kids in tow in under 35 minutes.  There was no screaming or punching in the checkout line, no beggina and crying for candy.  Things quickly began to deteriorate around 2 pm when #5 was struck again by the now infamous GI BUG OF BULLOCH COUNTY.  This time in the form of not being able to tinkle or "my froggy potty".  One phone call to the doctor got us an appointment by 4pm.  Two phone calls to babysitters and one to the neighbor yielded no help in watching the other 3 while I toted #5 to the doctor.  Damn. 

So there we were.  All of us at the doctor's office on Friday afternoon.  Four kids aged 3-8 years, one of who is clutching her tootie because she can't tinkle.  We are called to the triage area by the nice nurse.  I know they are all cringing seeing us coming down the hall because last time we were there #4 crapped on their floor.  I try to expedite the process.  Everyone wants to stand on the scale.  I usher them to the seats with threats of shots for all if they don't shutup and sit down.  We are ushered down another hall to a windowless room.  Trapped like a rat with four kids, one of which is still clutching her tootie. 

There's an adjoining bathroom.  EVERY SINGLE CHILD WITH ME NOW HAS TO POOP.    One by one they take their turns.  #4 comes out mid poop, pants down to his ankles to announce there is also a shower in the bathroom.  "Not to worry, we can shower at home", I say, "please finish your business." 

We learn all about the stirrups on the pelvic exam table.  We learn how the blood pressure cuff inflates.  We read a book on asthma.  We turn the lights off and on.  We spin on the doctor's stool.  We clutch out tooties because we still can't tinkle.  OMG.  Has it really only been 20 minutes?????

The door opens and in walks the NP....oh my dear Lord.....with a big plastic cast boot on her foot.  She is immediately barraged with questions by #4.  He has to examine this thing and touch it ALOT.
She tries to nicely tell him to not step on her broken leg.  He pulls her pant leg up to get a closer look.  They finally quiet down enough to let her ask why we are there.  #4 announces that his "sister's butt hurts" and even turns and points to the appropriate area.  He is helped to a seat.  After finally examining the real patient, it is determined she has a bladder infection and needs a shot.  The door opens and two nurses come in.  It takes all three of us to pin her to the exam table to administer the medicine as her siblings cringe behind the privacy curtain, looks of horror on their little faces.  She smacks me when it's all over.  Everyone gets a glowstick.  #4 hugs and kisses the nurse practitioner.  I deserve a beer.

 They usher us to the waiting room to wait some more for any horrible allergic reaction  #4 begins running back and forth while #2 power punches him.  #4 then begins catapaulting off the furniture.  The nurse at the reception windows looks out as I shoot myself in the head with my imaginary finger gun.  She slides the little glass window that protects her from the chaos open and says to me "Are they all yours?"  "Yes, yes they are."  I reply.  Like I'd go pick up other people's kids and take them all to the doctor's office.  "I drink alot of wine." I say.  She gives me the thumbs up and slides the window closed.  I know she is talking smack about me because I am obviously pregnant and my other children are running amok like a pack of banshee's in the waiting area. 

My only consolation was that I didn't have to pay today.  Somehow I had a credit to my account.  I think they were lying though.  I think they just wanted me to leave. 



Thursday, March 7, 2013

Detangling Brush

OMG!  It's fnally here.  The infamous detangling brush that cost ways too much money!  Emma swears it will end all her crying when we have to come her long locks.  I gently remind her that you have to brush your hair more than ONCE a day to keep it from getting tangled in the first place!

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

my to do list

Well, it gets longer everyday, but it's meant to simplify my life.  Ha!  What am I doing right now?  Well let me tell you.

1.  I am currently incubating baby #6.
2.  I am raising 6 pullets which are quickly outgrowing their little pen and getting all gawky looking.

3.  I am wondering if I should by one of the piglets I saw on Craigslist this morning???
4.  I am waiting for this weeks 52 lists to be posted over at Moorea Seal.
5.  I am wondering if I can really feed everyone on $400 a month? 
6.  I am happy we paid off the truck.
7.  I am waiting to hear back from the pediatrician so I can get Sam's immunization records to register him for kindergarten (wow!).
8.  I am hoping it is going to be warm today so I can work in my garden.
9.  I am wishing and wishing that the green whoosh of spring color is going to wash over my yard VERY soon
what are you doing today?

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Why I should pray more.

Some days are easy, some are not.  For those that are not, I should probably pray more.

10 reasons I should pray more:

1.  One of my supervisors saw me at the Lowe's garden center looking at flowers.  She watched as my children punched the crap out of each other while in the cart.   She also watched as I just ignored them.

2.  I buy beer at Walmart at 9:45 am and I am usually drinking it by 10 am.

3.  My pastor made me mad a few months ago and I sent him an e mail about it. 

4.  I've entertained the idea of leaving my kids, in the cart, in the Walmart cart corral and driving away. 
    (I really wouldn't do this, lol).

5.  I'm teaching my two year old to say "Daddy?  Daddy?  Daddy?  I want a pony."  I'm hoping she says it all weekend while I am at work.

6.  I asked my husband why our boy puppy has weiner hair.

7.  I have asked someone why on earth they put a zucchini THERE?

8.  I have made my four year old pose for pictures after major doodie episode's before cleaning him up.

9.  I made a grown woman clean up her own poop off a chair.

10.  I am still thinking about the girl who called me my husband's mother.

lol.  i'm really over all of it.  i think


and u thought i was long gone...

....I wasn't, really.  Just fell off the blogging wagon for a while :P  We all do it.  Don't lie and pretend you don't!

Where have I been and what antics have these kids of mine been up to?...OH the stories!  Alas, I will save those for another day though.  Just wanted to drop back in and say hello to all and let u know I missed u.